Yesterday I got a “mommy break”. I got to run under, over and through muddy obstacles with some of my best friends followed by some lunch at a restaurant where I didn’t have to inquire about cooking procedures (still managed to see the “allergen” warning on the menu) or hope someone doesn’t need to pee and freak out about using a public potty or just get antsy and decide that they want to leave.
I am extremely fortunate that I have the ability to say “Bye Honey! I’m going to have fun for the day and I’ll be home later” and then not worry. I have been blessed with a completely capable husband. I don’t need to call and check in, I don’t get texts asking where the first aid kit is and I know that all routines, schedules and diapers will be kept in check. Plus, I’ll probably return home to a cleaner-than-what-I-left-it-house and all laundry washed, dried and well… not put away, but no one’s perfect. I’m also blessed with wonderful friends who also have wonderful husbands that can do the same. This means everyone is texting pictures of finishing the race and not “Did you remember to feed the kids breakfast??”
I know that not everyone agrees in “needing time away”, but let me tell you, it’s important. Getting a mommy break for a day makes me miss my kids. I’m excited to see them when I get home and I love the fact that they can now tell me about their day. When you spend day in and day out wiping noses and hands, answering the whys and why nots, cooking, cleaning and making sure two little people aren’t killing each other, sometimes you need a couple hours of fun to remember that they are the reason you love your life so much to begin with. There are days when we are on temper tantrum #7 before noon and I wonder if I’m completely failing but then I come home from a day away and the kids show that they truly missed me and I think “oh, they don’t think I’m failing” and my mommy confidence soars. Then there is a break from Stampy. I tend to think I’m a great catch, but my opinion is probably a little skewed. I also usually think Stampy is a great catch but there are times when I just think “wow, I may stab him while he sleeps tonight”. It’s not because I really want him dead, it’s just that he forgot to do the one thing I asked him to do, it’s been a long day and he just won’t stop talking. Then he spends the better part of our evening time looking at random golf courses in Iowa and all I can think is “I just spent an hour reading up on sensory activities and how to make home made granola bars that are peanut free and you pick 10:00 at night to put your moves on????”. These are things that can make me want to scream irrational things, BUT I know they are irrational so I keep them to myself and let them fester instead. That being said, he never blinks an eye when I tell him that I’m going out gallivanting for the day and I don’t know when I’ll be home. I come home and realize that even though he didn’t let me go and prance around in the mud, he did let me go because he has no difficulty running a home and I love him and the stabby feelings are suppressed for another month or so. Then there is just the benefit of talking to your friends. Sure we communicate via Facebook or text messaging but 90% of our conversing under those circumstances are about the kids. We are moms talking about mom things because that’s what we are doing. Occasionally we might want to point out a creepy kid pic that some other mom has been posted to Facebook, but mostly it’s all about our own kids. Then we get to go out WITHOUT our kids and that 90% drops down to 50%. Ok, 75%. Which means there is 15% more conversation than normal that is not about our kids. It’s usually about our husbands or peeing our pants, but not about kids who pee their pants. And I am grateful that you have these people that know you in some other manner than mom or wife. Because, let’s face it neither your husband or your kids care when you find the best new comfortable pair of underwear or BB cream or eyebrow waxer. They just don’t. So it’s these moments where I can spend the day laughing away the tears and I know it’s exactly what I need to come home and have a child decide that bath time is 2 minutes before the oven dinner timer goes off and another that believes the dining room chair can double as a toilet and know that I’m doing a great job.