Tag Archives: Humor

3 weeks, the non-yelling continues

Sort of. Well, I’ve yelled 3 times. But only twice at the kids, once was really to no one in general. Maybe it was towards Stampy, but it was more I’m-having-a-nervous-breakdown-and-no-one-is-listening-to-me yell/cry. 

Either way, the bigger part is that I’m learning ways to control my mood when things really start to irk me and I feel like I’m losing control. These past 3 weeks have also taught me what really pushes my buttons and makes me want to start yelling at the kids. I now know what I need to learn to control. 

I need to control my urge to be on time. Nothing gets me riled up faster than being late. I hate being late. I hate when people are late in general. It’s probably one of my biggest pet peeves. Want to put me in a bad mood, show up late. Of course a 3 and a 5 year old have no sense of time. At all. None. Since I’ve stopped yelling, we are now consistently one of the last people showing up for school which means my blood pressure is consistently up before 9 AM. It’s a good thing we live a half mile away or we’d be much later since I’ve been buckling my kids in to their car seats when we should be there. Today we were actually early, but Molly sat in time out twice before we got there. 

I need to watch Full House reruns more. That Danny Tanner rarely loses his temper, he has a lot of patience and good advice. I didn’t realize that back in the early 90s. I also didn’t realize how bad the fashions were. Nick at Nite is really good at reminding us what not to wear.

I need to exercise more. I really try to make it a priority but with work and 2 kids, it sometimes takes a back burner. However, I am much more relaxed and calm after a 3 mile run. I’m also too tired to fight. Yoga just makes me realize that things aren’t so bad. At least the kids aren’t asking me to bind while squatting.

The tickle monster needs to visit more. Really, you want to choose 5 minutes before walking to the car to argue about getting a cowgirl hat? That’s fine, I can’t hear you over the tickle monster. You don’t want to brush your teeth?? That’s ok, the tickle monster will do it. He doesn’t mind your silent crying and thrashing.

With a little over 3 weeks to go, I think I’m going to make it! Probably not without yelling again, but at this point at least the kids now know that when I yell, I mean business. Plus, I’m Italian. We yell sometimes. It happens.

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How Molly Will Save My Fellow Shoppers

I have a real problem. It’s of the farting kind. It’s not your typical several farts a day kind of problem, it’s several an hour. If I and the others around me are lucky. I should probably be checked out by a doctor, but it’s entertaining. I’ve been able to get away with it for a long time, thankfully to a best friend that lost her sense of smell and a husband who wooed me with dutch ovens. Not really, but he did it often enough you would think I liked it. I also fart in stores. That smell you get when you walk down an aisle but no one is there, that was me. Sadly, these days are coming to an end.

Why?

Because my daughter has the sense of smell of a blood hound. And she announces that things smell. LOUDLY. She can smell things that no one else can smell. Sometimes I wonder if she is just saying she smells something for effect. However, it only took once twice, er…. half a dozen times for her to out me in the store before I learned my lesson.

So, my fellow shoppers rejoice! The crop dusting has ended but be warned for she may call you out one day.

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She smells something and she doesn’t like it