Tag Archives: Molly

Parent Fail: Miniature Golf Style

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Doesn’t this look like a fun family outing? Everyone is enjoying a round of miniature golf, the Wild Card is even wearing a collared shirt, but in reality it was a disaster. A parenting fail at its worst. The Mollinator is a perfectionist at the age of 4 and thanks to her Sensory Processing Disorder she also has motor delays, primarily in motor planning. It’s hard enough for a 4 year old to grasp the hand-eye coordination to successfully putt the ball through obstacles and into a hole, now imagine one that can’t sequence all of her movements correctly or figure out how hard or soft she needs to hit the ball to get it to the hole and on top of that have her be a perfectionist so when she doesn’t get a hole-in-one she thinks she failed. Did you get all that? I can tell you that it’s a recipe for disaster and tears next to a #8 flag. She actually sat down on hole 8 to exclaim she was a bad golfer. She’s 4 and the thought that she couldn’t hit the ball into a hole in one shot was just too much for her to bear. Luckily it was a rainy day so the course was pretty empty but those that were there saw parenting at its worst best.

As parents we want our kids to have fun so we tried everything in our power to turn that frown upside down but nothing worked. Her frustrations got bigger and our patience got smaller. I tried to avoid it but I walked to the car with a screaming kid in tow. I did my best not to yell, I just handed her putter to Stampy and walked away, but honestly I wanted to scream. Not at Molly, this isn’t her fault. I wanted to scream at the universe for making this our reality. Our reality that we will most likely leave places early and in tears. Only to come home and have whiney temper tantrums and cling with all her might to me. It’s the reality that some days make me want to peel my skin off and it’s the reality that ends in alcohol or exercise.

So I take a lot of pictures in hopes that when I look back at them I will remember the few moments where we smiled and laughed. So I remember fun outings with the kids. And so when Molly accuses me of never taking her anywhere, I can show her that we did. Maybe I’ll also show her this post to explain why our outings were so few and far between.

The Wild Card was there too. I assumed he would run like a crazed monkey all over the course so naturally he tried to play golf and stayed right by me. He also got carried to the car screaming, but that was because he was having fun and didn’t want to leave.

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How Molly Will Save My Fellow Shoppers

I have a real problem. It’s of the farting kind. It’s not your typical several farts a day kind of problem, it’s several an hour. If I and the others around me are lucky. I should probably be checked out by a doctor, but it’s entertaining. I’ve been able to get away with it for a long time, thankfully to a best friend that lost her sense of smell and a husband who wooed me with dutch ovens. Not really, but he did it often enough you would think I liked it. I also fart in stores. That smell you get when you walk down an aisle but no one is there, that was me. Sadly, these days are coming to an end.

Why?

Because my daughter has the sense of smell of a blood hound. And she announces that things smell. LOUDLY. She can smell things that no one else can smell. Sometimes I wonder if she is just saying she smells something for effect. However, it only took once twice, er…. half a dozen times for her to out me in the store before I learned my lesson.

So, my fellow shoppers rejoice! The crop dusting has ended but be warned for she may call you out one day.

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She smells something and she doesn’t like it

Poop Happens

I hate poop. It is my Achilles heel. I use way too many wipes to change diapers in fear I may get poop on my hand and the very thought if a child pooping in the tub gives me nightmares. My dislike is probably better classified as an irrational fear than anything else.
Other than your typical baby blowout, I feel I have been very lucky in the poop department. Charlie has pooped in the tub but never under my watch and no one has taken a poopy diaper off and played with it. Our house has remained poop stain free for 4 years! That is until last night. Molly didn’t take off her diaper but she did manage to get the out of her diaper and then to rub it on the nice, somewhat new, light tan colored carpet. Ugh. I wanted to cry.
So there I sat, 9 pm, staring my nemesis in the face. First things first, Pinterest. Of course Pinterest had the answer, is there anything that site can’t do? I thank you, Living Aloha, for your insight into cleaning poop. Borax and hot water blotted that mess right up and I even got to bed at a somewhat decent hour with no panic awakenings of a poop-filed house.

Parenthood

I’d like to thank my parents for never censoring the TV my brother and I watched while growing up. We got to watch a lot of movies good and bad (and all unedited!) such as Parenthood with Steve Martin. I guess watching it 500 times as an impressionable child allowed me to have an epiphany one day- Molly is Kevin!!! It was all so clear as I thought about it. About a week later my brother was visiting and during one of Molly’s screaming fits he looked at me and said “remember the movie Parenthood?”. Yes, Tom, I remembered. Thanks to this happening at least once a day in my house, I doubt I will ever forget this movie.

We Went to a Birthday Party (sort of)

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Birthday parties are fun. Or birthday parties are a day of high anxiety for the Mollinator and I. This time we had a trick, headphones. Thanks to our OT we had this handy trick to shut out the outside world and it’s strange sounds. Typically, birthday parties go like this: Molly gets really excited to go, we get there, and I spend half the time trying to get her in the door, then the other half trying to peel her off of me, cake is served and we go home. Thanks to the headphones, my Mollinator agreed to go into the bounce house fun land and begin to maneuver around the non-bounce house games. For twenty minutes she played by herself, but was happy and not clingy. Yay! Success! Then she met a 6 year old girl to play with. Yay! Double Success! Then cake and ice cream. Did I mention she left my side for 10 minutes??? Now, she didn’t talk to any of the kids from her class or the birthday boy but I guess we should accept the fact that she entered the party as a step in the right direction.

I may take stock in headphones.