Shortly after Charlie was born I started attending a yoga class. It was one hour on Sunday and I loved that hour. I could even say that I lived for it. I had a newborn and a 2 year old, so needless to say I had no time to myself other than that class. That hour was all about that hour. I didn’t think about what I had to do after, I didn’t think about what was going on at home and I didn’t think about anything that had happened preceding the class. It was all about the present time. After 2 1/2 years I realized something about yoga, not only do I live for that moment but I don’t criticize myself, I work hard, and I’m proud of what I accomplished. Sometimes it’s just finishing the class without falling on my face.
This doesn’t carry over to real life.
I want that to change.
In real life we are a family that is constantly on the go. I spend my days constantly thinking about what is next. What time someone has to get picked up, what appointment is coming up, when bedtime is, and in doing that I don’t get to enjoy the present moment. I don’t worry about an upcoming Reverse Triangle while breathing in Child’s Pose, why should I worry about the future in real life?
I find myself overwhelmed by cleaning things out. Therefore, nothing gets cleaned out. I worry that the crew from Hoarders will show up at my house but still I can’t let go of things. I find sentiment in everything that I’ve ever done. I made connections with any outfit my kids donned. In doing this, I can’t truly enjoy what is in front of me because I yearn for what has passed. Yet while I’m trying to balance in Crow there are no thoughts of the previous Downward Dog. That would be silly because I need to focus on not falling over right then and there. So, why can’t I focus on the present and what I need to achieve happiness today?
I need to appreciate myself in the present the same way in real life I do on the mat. I need to give myself a break in real life. It’s ok that my kids don’t eat picture perfect meals the same way it’s ok that my hamstrings are as tight as a board. It’s ok that I’m not crafty the same way it’s ok that I can’t bind. Yoga is much easier if I breathe, I’m sure life would be easier if I breathed once in awhile and just appreciated the way it feels to be completely centered.
As I come away from a difficult couple of days, I realize that I need to incorporate my yoga beliefs into real life. I need to see every moment for what it is, good or bad, difficulty or easy, busy or relaxing. Not everything has to be perfect but it is real and real is good.